When I first joined the Marine Corps, that same gentle nudge had sat in me for almost a year and a half. A YEAR AND A HALF! I can still remember the constant confusion my overthinking and lack of trust caused me. Like I was waiting on God to ‘show me a sign’, yet that sign was never defined. It wasn’t going to be God physically showing up right in front me, saying “Yes, join the military” or an audible voice from the sky confirming I should do so. It sounds absurd to even say it but looking back, I think that’s exactly what I was waiting for.

Time and time again, these gentle nudges from God have appeared in my life. And nearly every time I don’t understand it. Yet, each time it happens and I obediently listen, it turns out to be the best thing for me. Sometimes, it changes the course of my life. Other times it allows God to place other factors in my life to guide me to the place He wants me to be.

I often wish I would listen faster. I’m pretty stubborn and get so mad at myself for having to constantly relearn the same lesson. This one, for instance, is a way that God has moved in my life repeatedly yet I still haven’t learned that quick obedience and action to whatever it is He is asking me to do is what is the absolute best for me at that time.

So why haven’t I learned? Fear. Lack of trust. At the end of the day, I want to be in control and know what the future will hold. I fear making mistakes. I fear embarrassment from those mistakes. I fear someone close to me telling me I shouldn’t do something, then it doesn’t work out and they say “I told you not to do that”.

I know I am not alone in this so this is my encouragement to all my readers who find themselves struggling with the same thing. You’re not alone.