“In hope he believed against hope, that he should become the father of many nations, as he had been told, “So shall your offspring be.” He did not weaken in faith when he considered his own body, which was as good as dead (since he was about a hundred years old), or when he considered the barrenness of Sarah’s womb. No unbelief made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised. That is why his faith was “counted to him as righteousness.” (Romans 4:19-22)

At the end of 2020, I was 30 years old, single, living in the barracks in Pensacola, FL as Lance Corporal in the Marine Corps. I felt so behind in life. I had just changed careers and was surrounded by 18-19 year old’s who were just starting out. I felt humbled to say the least. But deeper than that was my yearning to be married. I had been praying for a spouse for years, trying to be obedient in each step I felt I was being led to. Yet I found myself in December alone on a bench outside my barracks room, crying out to God for understanding.

After many weeks of prayer and wrestling with the Lord, I began to feel a sense of peace. Its hard to put into words, but it was this confident sense of hope that God knows the desires of my heart and this one He put there. At the beginning of 2021, I started praying everyday for a husband. Not a prayer of anxiousness, but a prayer of hope, of eager expectation.

When I read this verse this morning, I was reminded of what hope is. Hope is trust in God that He is who He says He is and His promises are true. That the pure desires of my heart are known to Him. That, when those desires align with His will, they will be brought into existence. No unbelief should make me waver, because as I give glory to God, I will become fully convinced that He is able to do what He has promised.

My prayer for us today is that our faith in God grow beyond the limits of our hearts and minds.

But the words “it was counted to him” were not written for his sake alone, but for ours also. It will be counted to us who believe in him who raised from the dead Jesus our Lord, who was delivered up for our trespasses and raised for our justification. (Romans 4:23-25)

(P.S. I ended up meeting my now husband in April 2021.)