Tag: pregnancy

The Anatomy Scan

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Our only expectation was to find out the gender.

My husband and I decided to forgo the blood test at 12 weeks and instead decided to wait until the anatomy scan because it was scheduled to be done five days before Father’s Day. The idea was to have the gender written on a piece of paper and do one of those cheesy gender reveals where you buy a small cake that has the color pink or blue inside of it, and we find out the gender after we cut into the cake. This whole idea fell apart two days before the scheduled anatomy scan. Due to a scheduling miscommunication, our original appointment was cancelled and we were not able to reschedule until the day after Father’s Day. We were bummed to say the least.

The day of the scan, I went to the doctor appointment alone. I cannot recall why my husband couldn’t make it, but I didn’t think much of it because we expected everything to go fine. I was quickly called back into the room where the scan was to be conducted and the ultrasound technician got started right away. She introduced herself and the resident accompanying her that day and explained the process. I had gone through this once before with our first daughter so this wasn’t new to me.

Once the scan started, myself, the ultrasound technician and the resident did not say much. I stared at the screen, trying to figure out which body part I was looking at, but it all looked like mush to me. Good mush, but mush all the same. I asked a few questions and the technician explained, “Here is the arm”, and “here is the leg”, but then went back to doing her scans. It was quiet and I thought this was odd. With our firstborn, the ultrasound technician was quite talkative and explained what she was looking at and why. But not this girl. At one point, she asked me to use the bathroom because the baby was “in an odd position” and she couldn’t see what the gender was. After I came back, she tried to see one more time but said she was still not able to determine the gender definitively. “Well this sucks”, I thought. Then, both her and the resident got up and left the room. They told me to relax and stay put, that the doctor would be in shortly. In total, the anatomy scan lasted MAYBE 25 minutes.

I thought this was weird. 25 minutes? They got everything they needed in 25 minutes? The scan with our daughter lasted at least 45-50 minutes. I sat there patiently, trying not to overthink it.

Then they asked me to move rooms.

It was at this point that I began to feel something was wrong. A 25 minute scan and now I was being asked to move rooms? This was definitely not the same as our first scan and something had to be wrong. Then, the doctor walked in.

“Thank you for waiting. We finished the scan and it appears that your baby has club feet. This is when a baby’s feet grow in and up instead of down and straight. We believe it is bi-lateral, meaning both feet. The baby is in a breech position, so it was difficult to conduct the full anatomy scan because this position blocks many of the views we need. Therefore, a full scan was not conducted and we will need to re-scan. In addition, when we were looking at the baby’s brain, the back part at the bottom is called the cerebellum. This part of the brain controls mobility. This part is measuring small. It should be measuring the same size that you are gestationally, meaning if you are 20 weeks pregnant it should measure 20 millimeters in size. Right now, it is measuring at about 17 millimeters. This is not common, but it is also not an indicator that something is wrong. We will continue to monitor over the rest of your pregnancy and as long as it continues to grow and the baby is showing signs of movement, then it might be fine.”

There are only a handful of moments in life that will completely take your breath away. Where your heart drops into your stomach. Where you know, in that one moment, your life will never be the same. This was that moment.

There was no holding back my tears and I could have cared less who saw. I had so many questions, yet was speechless at the same time. Even as I write this, no words feel adequate enough to describe how I felt, how I still feel about it all.

The doctor and I talked for awhile after that. I asked her all the questions I could think of- will the baby survive? Is the rest of the baby normal? How is the heartbeat? What is the treatment for clubfeet? Have you ever dealt with abnormalities of this type? Etc., Etc., Etc. She graciously and patiently answered all of my questions.

The whole time I cried. Just cried and cried. Eventually, I ran out of questions and realized I had to leave the doctors office eventually. Staying there wouldn’t change the news I just received and I needed to go home. When I left, I immediately called my husband, sobbing, and told him the news. He was floored. I don’t think he really understood what I was saying because he was in shock.

I literally went to my anatomy scan with the simple intent to find out the gender. But instead, this is the news we got.

To be continued…

Weeks 7 through 20

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Throughout the first trimester and the first few weeks of the second, I experienced really bad back pain. I had other common pregnancy symptoms, like fatigue and nauseousness, but the back pain was one to be remembered. It is common for women to have lower back pain during pregnancy that is similar to cramping during menstrual cycles. But this pain was different. It would start in my lower back at the beginning of the day, move to the middle of my back, and by the end of the day, my upper back and shoulders would be in excruciating pain. This wasn’t pain like the menstrual cramps I usually felt. It was agonizing, like cramps x10. I found myself, more often than not, on the couch with a heating pad all day. No medication worked. I tried stretching which sometimes helped, but sometimes made it worse. These backpains would typically last about three days at a time, and all of a sudden I would wake up one morning and it would be gone. Week after week I kept experiencing this, so at 10 weeks I decided to go to the doctor.

My second ultrasound was actually at week 10. When you’re pregnant, you kind of get bumped to the front of the line for appointments if you have issues. So when I called about my back pain, I saw an OBGYN the next day. They took an ultrasound to make sure baby was okay and asked about my pain. Pregnancy can bring a plethora of physical symptoms. High blood pressure, headaches, swelling, etc. are all linked to various well-known pregnancy complications. But back pain can be for a variety of reasons. My doctor explained this to me and basically sent me on my way, reasoning that the baby had a healthy heartbeat and was growing well, so everything must be fine. I couldn’t argue with that, but I knew it wasn’t normal.

Two weeks later, I was back in the OB office for my 12 week ultrasound. This appointment is generally longer than the others because the OB will sit down and go over history, different types of testing available, etc. With the exception of our prior miscarriage, we had an uneventful first pregnancy and this one was showing to be the same. My husband and I opted to do the genetic testing available, which screens for common conditions like Down syndrome, trisomy 13, and trisomy 18. We opted to not find out the gender and wanted to wait until the anatomy scan (apparently we thought the suspense was thrilling. It wasn’t).

Between weeks 12 and 16, the back pain began to decrease in frequency, and eventually went away. The random nauseousness and fatigue also lightened and became more manageable. At week 16, we had another ultrasound. All four of the ultrasounds (week 7, 10, 12 and 16) showed a perfectly normal baby with healthy growth and a strong heartbeat. It was at this point that I finally began to relax. Pregnancy began to be enjoyable and I started to get really excited about our new little one. I allowed myself to think about how I would decorate the nursery, what baby items we would need, and dreaming about the possibility of having a boy.

Let me go on a tangent for a second. There are myths that certain pregnancy symptoms mean you’re having a boy versus a girl and vice versa. For instance, women who experience more morning sickness are theoretically having a girl, whereas women who crave salty food are having a boy (there are a ton of contradictive myths to these statements). Let me just say that all of this is completely bogus. Not true. Unreal. Don’t believe it for a second. I’ve had friends who have had terrible morning sickness their entire pregnancy and had beautiful baby boys. In my first pregnancy, I wanted McDonald’s french fries every waking moment of the day and had a little girl. Then there are my odd ball friends that literally had ZERO symptoms and had both genders. So the way I see it, everyone is different and pregnancy myths are for the birds. Back to the story.

Now that pregnancy was progressing and the reality of a new baby entering our family was becoming real, life just seemed brighter. Summer was approaching, the pool was opening, vacations were planned. Work burdens seemed less important. Life was just good.

For about four weeks.

Little did I know that the upcoming June would change my life forever.

To be continued…

The First Ultrasound

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There is a certain type of anxiety that accompanies the first ultrasound in a pregnancy. Feelings of excitement, yet hesitation. Eagerness, yet apprehension. Hope, but also uneasiness. IYKYK. Due to a miscarriage just two months prior, all these feelings were elevated. So when we went in for Emerson’s first ultrasound, I honestly didn’t know what to think. I hoped for a heartbeat, but couldn’t be sure.

As we were taken back to the patient room and sat waiting for the doctor, my husband and I prayed. For a healthy baby, for a heartbeat, for a full term pregnancy. And also for God to give this child everything he/she would need to grow healthy, strong, and fully developed. This was a daily prayer I prayed in each and every pregnancy, and will continue to do so.

When the doctor walked in, she casually asked a few questions about how I was feeling, when my last menstrual cycle was, etc. The intent of the first ultrasound is to identify a heartbeat, collect measurements, and determine an expected due date. I had done the math prior and predicted my due date to be November 2, 2025.

As the ultrasound started, the monitor screen was facing away from me. My husband was obnoxiously hovering over the doctors shoulder, in hope to be the first to spot the heartbeat. For a solid 45 seconds, I sat there staring at everyone’s faces in the room, trying to read whether I should expect good news or bad. It was all I could do since I couldn’t see the screen. Every second felt like it lasted a decade. Finally, I said “So, is there a heartbeat!?” And the doctor turned the screen around to point at a baby whose little heart was bumping as healthy as ever. “You’re measuring to be due on November 2, 2025” she said.

Relief washed over me like a cool shower on a hot day. I stared at the screen for what seemed like forever. We took pictures and a video so we could show everyone in our family later. My husband and I smiled at each other with a kid-like excitement. The first step to a healthy pregnancy had been confirmed.

It’s hard for me to comprehend how people can argue that life does not begin at conception. Maybe they have never seen a baby’s heartbeat during the first ultrasound. Maybe they’ve never seen the growth of a baby in the womb over the course of nine months. Maybe they’ve never held a newborn. In my mind, there is no arguing that life begins at conception. Period, end of story. And that life continues to blossom, flourish, grow and expand until God takes it away, inside or outside of the womb.

I can’t recall what happened during the rest of the appointment. I know I was scheduled for another ultrasound around 12 weeks, which is typical. And though we had confirmed that there was in fact a heartbeat, I wasn’t out of the woods yet. Women are at their highest chance of miscarriage for the first twelve weeks of pregnancy, with each week’s chances decreasing as time goes on. So though I had some relief, I wasn’t able to fully relax and enjoy the eager expectation of a new baby coming that year. The way I saw it, I couldn’t get excited until the next ultrasound at twelve weeks, which would surely confirm that I would continue on to a full term and healthy birth.

Or so I thought.

To be continued…

Emerson

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I found out I was pregnant with Emerson on February 21, 2025.

My husband and I had been tracking my ovulation because we wanted to try for a second child. He was scheduled to have hip surgery February 10, so I knew if I didn’t ovulate before then, we likely couldn’t try again for another few months due to his recovery period. I prayed and prayed I would ovulate and God provided. The day after my peak, I came down with norovirus, an extremely contagious stomach virus. If you have ever had norovirus, you would agree it is the single worst stomach bug to ever exist on the planet. I was so sick all night, and incredibly dehydrated the next day. Luckily, a few days and ten pounds later, I was good as new.

Two weeks after, I took a pregnancy test that showed two faint lines meaning I was pregnant. It is one of the most exciting things in life to see a positive pregnancy test. We were ecstatic. Due to a miscarriage we had two months before, we wanted to share the news with close friends and family so that they could start praying immediately. I remember calling my mom on Facetime and showing her the test. She was so confused because, on the video call, it looked like the pregnancy test was negative since the lines were so faint! Never the less, the journey of pregnancy number three began.

From the start I was exhausted and nauseous. Not all the time, but I vividly remember sitting on the couch at 6am, attempting to drink my coffee but unable to do so because everything made me gag. Luckily, these bouts of sickness would last an hour or two and go away. The exhaustion, however, hit everyday around 3-4pm and stuck until I put my firstborn down for bed around 7pm.

Let me pause here. It was in these early weeks that I learned real quick how good I had it with my first pregnancy. You see, with my first pregnancy, I didn’t have a ten month old crawling/attempting to walk all over the house, getting in drawers, climbing up stairs, or eating dog hair every other minute. Oh no, the first pregnancy was absolute bliss. I could come home from work, eat whatever McDonald’s crap I wanted, fall asleep at 6pm and have no cares in the world. But this time around, I had to come home from work, cook dinner, eat vegetables to set a good example, play with our girl, give her a bath, and then finally go to bed before accidently falling asleep in her play tent. While I loved every minute of it, I have to confess that it was very exhausting.

Generally, when you get pregnant, the first ultrasound appointment is around 8-10 weeks. Because my pregnancy with our firstborn was routine with no complications, I had my first ultrasound appointment at 8 weeks, which fell on March 28, 2025.

To be continued…

Here We Go…

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Over the course of the next few weeks, I will be walking through my journey of pregnancy and loss with my second daughter, Emerson. Talking about loved ones who have passed is a way to keep them alive and I feel like this is my way of keeping her alive within me.

Before I start, I’d like to discuss why I started this blog and named it Truth WSYF. If any of you have been with me from the beginning, you’ll know that this blog actually started when I was selling real estate in Dallas, TX. I thought it was a good way to reach people and discuss the various topics of home ownership, purchasing, investing, etc. I stopped selling real estate in 2018 and joined the Marine Corps instead (a story for another time), so my blog posts stopped. They picked back up in 2023 after I lost my dad to liver cancer and was walking through infertility, but fell off once again. My hope is this time I am able to be more accountable to myself and to my readers, which leads me into why I named this blog the way I did.

Truth WSYF stands for ‘”Truth Will Set You Free”. I’ve walked some hard roads in life. Some by choice, some not. On the outside, it often has, and still does, appear that I have it all together. But behind the scenes show many seasons of heartache, pain, desperation, and brokenness. When I accepted Christ into my life in 2013, my life slowly began to unfold. My deepest, darkest secrets began to come to light and I was fully exposed.

Humiliated.

Humbled.

Brokenhearted.

Yet free. Free from the lies I had been holding onto for so long. Free from the sin that held me captive for so many years. For the first time in my life I experienced the freedom God promises in in His Word. And to this day I continue to experience that freedom each time I expose the darkest parts of my heart.

Truth WSYF comes from John 8:31-32 which says “So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (ESV). My hope for this blog is for people to find a place where they can speak their truth and find freedom. A place where people can come in the hardest of seasons of life for community and support. A place to come and celebrate God’s blessings with other believers.

I’ve felt God calling me to do this for a long time. To create this type of environment for folks. And to do it by leading first. By being vulnerable and transparent, while also working on my already wonderful writing skills (joking). So here we go people. Engage. Ask questions. Laugh. And enjoy this crazy ride.